The Excitement of Days Past

It intrigues me, as I go from youthful 20's to old-man 30's, to take stock of my life and how its changed. One thing that I really noticed this past weekend during Capital Pride 2007 was my total lack of excitement for the event. It almost became more of a chore, something I felt obligated to attend. Granted, I was more than willing and happy to help out the swim team, but when not working at the booth, I wandered aimlessly around the crowd occasionally getting some fattening food or a beer, wondering where all the excitement has gone in these 7 years since my first Pride.

I still remember it as clear as day. I was 22, just finished my BS in Marine Bio from UNCW, was about to start my PhD at Georgia Tech. That weekend I signed the lease for a shitty lil apartment in midtown Atlanta off of Cheshire Bridge Rd. It was the summer of Britney and N Sync; Oops I did it Again vs Bye, Bye, Bye. It was June of 2000. It was my first Pride. You can only imagine what it was like after having lived in the ultra-conservatism that is North Carolina for 4 years. I just came out to myself the previous year, and here I was...the gay mecca of the South. I met who I thought was the hottest guy online (AOL m4m chatrooms...remember them?). We were dating during my back n forth b/w NC and ATL. He introduced me to all his friends in ATL, and they accepted me like family. What a great feeling; I never had a gaggle of gays before. And to top it off, they all lived in a gay apartment complex (Sutton Place)--something that would NEVER happen in NC. We went down to Piedmont Park for the festivities...all drunk, gayed out, and ready to cruise. That year 300,000 GLBT's crowded the park to socialize, hear politicians, see the B-52s, and watch the drag show. And then there was the clubs. Heaven on Earth. I'm sure I smiled the whole time.

So have I become jaded? Probably. I sure as hell don't want to be surrounded by all the crack queens I befriended that first weekend. Capital Pride surely doesn't inspire a sense of community like it did all those years I was in ATL. Maybe that is what's really missing. The best part of the weekend was marching in the parade with the swim team...and there you have the sense of community. So maybe I havent changed, just the city has.