Mama don't let your babies grow up to be...

Popular. Ever notice that when there's a news report about some kid who dies tragically, its always the hot football jock or Mr. Popular? Car crash, freak accident, or Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. Those things never happen to the class nerd or the loner that no one cares about (no...they go on shooting rampages). I remember when I was in high school, our class clown/hottie football jock/Mr Popular died when the tires came off his car and he crashed head-on into a truck (freak accident combined with car crash). Inevitably the whole school was in morning for weeks. Counseling is needed, tributes at football games, yearbooks, etc. If it happened to the Average Joe, things would be so much easier. Luckily, I was the Average Joe...played sports, but not too well; wasn't bad looking, but not enough to be either teased (besides being short) or lose my virginity--making me cool; got good grades, but wasn't valedictorian. I played it safe in the nice meaty part of the bell curve in every aspect. And here I am, almost 30 and still kickin!

So mama...tell you babies to grow up to be science geeks or business nerds. That'll assure them success in life, and the ability to make it through high school without dying some prematurely.