I'd Rather Hurt Than Look Bad

...is one of my favorite quotes from Jon Bon Jovi. So many of us can relate to that one. In my previous blog I mentioned my $75 haircut for a job interview. I thought I'd elaborate, as it is an example of an ongoing motif in my life: porn.

As I mentioned, I was in FL and interviewing in DC. I had a Monday flight, Tuesday interview, on Sunday I realized I needed a haircut. Oooops. Now to many of you, a simple trip to Hair Cuttery might suffice. Not for the ConsummateAries. As a perfectionist, a beauty school drop out will never touch his shears to my hair. I never skimp on those things I use on a daily basis. My mattress is very comfy, my bike is a quality build, dress shoes are very walkable, and my hair (though sometimes longer than I'd like it) is always cut well. So when it came to needing a last minute haircut, I freaked. No reputible salon is open on Monday. Why that arbitrary day was chosen by all stylists as the trade's day off, I'll never know. But nonetheless, I had to deal with it. After frantic calls to just about everyone I could think of, I found a friend that could help. I met "Jaime" on MySpace--we both were living in Ft Lauderdale but grew up in the same town: connection. I knew he was an accountant--I never need to ask more than that about money/business occupation or I'll fall asleep mid-explanation. But he gave me the cell phone numbers of two freelance stylists that his company uses. And he knew that one just got back in town from a trip to Las Vegas with his company.

It is at this point that I joked with him about being in Las Vegas for the annual porn convention. He chuckled, I laughed. Oh the foreshadowing.

So I get the appointment for Monday after work. "Michael" sits me down in his private salon in some resort, gives me a choice of wines, and starts at it. I tell him the concept: young, modern, conservative. I never trusts stylists I don't know to do something different, but I was desperate. You know, like when you're horned up and lower your standards cause ya cant find anything else better online? That was me. Luckily he gave me exactly what I wanted. (I wont bore you with details). But during the chit-chat, he was discussing doing hair for "actors". Yup...you got it, the "actors" he referred to were the ones that Chi Chi LaRue hires. Funny, I can never remember what their hair looks like, but everything else is great! When it was all said and done, I was expecting a $200 bill. Private consultation, incredible cut, wine, etc. Just like at My Big Fat Wedding, I was shocked, but pleasantly surprised with the damage. $75 is not bad considering. So many things are worth paying for, especially to alleviate stress.

So in my life thus far, I've lived with porn "stars" (they got fan mail), dated two guys that turned out to have done porn, been wrongfully accused of being a porn star, and had my hair cut by a porn stylist. Too late for a career change? Seems like I'm destined for it.