Social Obligatories

One draw-back to being gay (besides the lack of civil rights and the constant necessity of keeping your ass spic n span) is the fact that gay culture is a Platonian series of rings, all orbiting around a focus--the club scene. It is unavoidable, one must patronize the gay bars and clubs or face gay social gangrene...slowly withering away til you're cut off by your friends. Now I'm not espousing the need for a Copernican revolution, switching the focus to something like the gym or needle-work...I enjoy my bourbon in social scenarios as much as the next alcoholic. But here's my dilemma...I rather despise clubs.

While working as a teacher in ATL, I needed more spending cash--it may be a shock to you, but teachers dont make much money, especially at private schools. I did a friend a favor and worked the door/ID's at the gay club he managed since he regular was out that night (I used to say I was a bouncer, which technically I was, but people laugh when . Somehow I got stuck with the gig...every Friday and Saturday night at Jungle. Eventually this arrangement also turned into Sat, Mon, and Thurs night. This might be a blessing to some...constant access to liquor and drum n bass...but not me. It meant being surrounded by crack whores 4-5 nights a week.

Why do I bring this issue up? Because the new Ed Bailey club "Town" is opening in DC this weekend, and it is compulsory that a young'ish single gay man attend such an event--or so the Law of Gravity in a Platonian solar system dictates. Of course I want to see and be seen, but I'm not so excited about paying for over-priced, water-downed bourbon, being surrounded by an alphabet soup of drugs, nor staying up til 4am. But how else am I to meet my future husband? Sitting spread eagle and naked in the sauna at Results with a "Yours for the Taking" sign sure isnt working. On the plus side, I would be able to get steak and eggs and Annies with the Architect's husband at 4:30am.