I'm becoming one of "THEM"

And by "them", I naturally mean one of those Mac-totting, coffee-sipping hippies you see around town, especially at places like Tryst and Dupont Circle Starbucks.

I cant help but think of the movie "Best in Show", where Parker Posey and her (unmemorable) movie husband discuss meeting at Starbucks, while each was working on their Mac.


--"I was a double espresso guy"

--"Yea, I thought that was sexy"

Lord knows, I drink enough caffeine to kill a large horse (and if that fuckin caffeine calculator hadnt crapped out, we'd know exactly how much I've consumed), so why not join the ranks of my fellow coffeephiles and buy a Mac? Well...I just did. Its coming today, which makes June 5th somewhat like December 25th. I'm awaiting the FedEx man with great aaaaaantiiiicipation (said like Dr Frankenfurter).

So starting tomorrow I can "work from home", go to Tryst, and nod at my fellow Macees. Isnt that what the commercials say to do, after all? You know the irony of today was when I got up this morning, ran to check the shipping status online, and my IBM laptop flashed up the Blue Screen of Death. Never again!

When penises fly...

Thanks to Wonkette for this post...it made me smile 5 min before having to give a very stressful briefing.

http://wonkette.com/391872/flying-penis-invades-russian-political-scene

Let the madness begin

Yesterday was my first triathlon, and before I get into the details, let me just say that I sit here typing with total rigimortis of the legs.

Initially I was very apprehensive of how well I'd do in this "sprint" tri (1k swim, 22k bike, 5k run). It is well known on the swim team that I usually sit out for at least a 50 in any distance over 200 yards, and even more if its a repeated middle- or long-distance set. Typically its because my shoulders fatigue quickly (I'm built for sprinting). Add a wetsuit on top of those shoulders, and it only gets worse. Then there's the bike...I just bought a road bike and only rode it twice before the tri, which isnt much less than I've ridden my other bike since last fall. Lastly, I HATE running, and only ran a total of 6 miles within a month before the race.

Alas, the competitor in me kicked into high gear, and I was in good spirits come the start of the race:

Pumped up before the race.

So we (The Maestro and I) setup and suit-up...get ready for our wave of the swim to start. My strategy was take it long and slow, stay to the outside, and just hope to do the whole thing freestyle. Apparently 1min before the gun, The Maestro noticed a marked difference in my demeanour--going from jovial to ultra-competitive. What can I say, I'm thrive in competition. So as the swim started, I thought The Maestro was going strong, so I took off in a nice relaxed swim. Being on the outside, I went off course several times. The first turn I looked back and saw that most of the green caps (our age) were behind me. (Kickass!) It was then that I started eating the feet of the previous wave. I am not exaggerating with the term "eat"...the lake was as murky as a body of water gets; it was nearly impossible to see your stroking hand in the water. The ego boost of being out in front definitely improved my swim--the other reason I sit out a lot in distance practice is just the knowledge that I suck at a 200+, whereas I'll do sets of 200 IM's with no problem.

End of swim: 5th place age group; 17th overall (11min)

Transition: Let's just say that I was in the bottom 10% of T1 transition times. (3min : 51sec) I had lots of problems putting on my shirt--never again.

Bike: The course was very technical, with rolling hills, turns, and few straight-aways. At least it didn't get boring. But the hills were punishing, and its where I took over many people (it seems like people are afraid to stand and peddle...I dont know why). But after my 17th place in the swim (besides the absolute shitty T1), then only place I could go is down...which I did. Rank 144 (54min).

Stock pic of my bike...just add pedals and aerobars.

Transition: Not nearly as bad, though I dropped my Oaklies running from the "end bike" to the transition area, had to turn around and go back for em. Embarrassing, to say the least.

Run: This portion was the antithesis of the swim. Swimming I past just about everyone, running, everyone passed me. In all, I overtook two people. I had no legs to begin with...and the start was a sadistic uphill portion that made everyone just want to cry. But I ran/jogged the whole thing, which bettered my goal of "no walking."

The Maestro was not happy about getting smoked.

All in all, it was a very fun event, and if nothing, I learned a little about my own mental toughness. Needless to say, all I did when I got home was be lazy and sleep.

Not looking so fresh after the race.

Crazy black girls

I had two experiences today that I needed to share, thus recommitting myself to this blog...and boy have I left out a lot, which I will catch up on in due time.

First...
I'm getting lunch when one of the secretaries is talking to the fried rice at the buffet saying, "This is good stuff, I just dont like the brussel spouts in it."













....ummm, those are peas!


Second...
The Engineer was kind enough to send me this link, a reminder of what its like to live in ATL. God, I'm glad Metro is not anything like MARTA (aka, Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta)

http://www.break.com/index/crazy-subway-girl.html

Burnin down the house!

The neighborhood is a'buzz with talk of the fire--at 5 alarms, it was the largest in DC in 30 years. And since it was a mere block and a half away from my apartment, I heard every screaming fire truck, ambulance, and police car on the way to the scene. Now, having seen which building burned, I have theories myself as to the cause/modus operandi of the blaze.

Granted, four buildings burned that night--victims of the first building, a large white apartment complex. This building has been trying to renovate over the last two years, a slow process to be sure. I think they were trying to capitalize on the clean up and gentrification of Mt Pleasant. However, the older tenants--mostly Mexicans (in the general sense of the term), were not vacating to allow for the renovation probably as fast as the owners would like. Every once in a while I'd see some yuppie white guy or girl walk into the building--obviously they were in the same jam that I was when trying to find their first apartment in DC. ...They took what they could get after only once visit and a few nice pictures.

I digress: Two days ago (or so) there was an article in the Express about how Jim Graham and some other city councilwoman are trying to change one of the laws in DC meant to protect tenants. It is well known that DC has very liberal tenant laws. This law in question states something to the effect that a building owner may only convert to a condo complex if the building is no longer inhabited, or if there is a buy-out of the current renting tenants. Too many owners were just neglecting the buildings, waiting for people to leave on their own right, thus allowing them to convert to condo without a buy-out.

Is it no surprise, then, that the building that burned received something like 7,000 housing violation complaints over the last couple years? Maybe...just maybe, they got tired of neglecting the building and dealing with city officials over the violations, decided to burn it, and will then turn condo since the building is unoccupied.

Let's wait and see if the all-knowing Consummate Aries is proved right.

Ode to Carolina

Carolina...my old home; my old friend
Why are you so unable to change?
Evolution may be considered farce, but occurs nonetheless
Except in Carolina

Yes...that was my lame attempt at poetry. Aries, being too black and white, are best not expressed in verse, but rather succinct prose. So anyway...yesterday I took a 1 day trip to Asheville for some meetings. I had high hopes of getting "something" out of this trip. But like most things in life, I was disappointed.

The disappointment occured at many levels, starting off with having to get up at 5am. WTF?! I didnt even realize that was a real time. Granted, I know it "exists" on the clock, but there are many things that we say exist, but in reality do not--like dominant bottoms. Besides a lack of sleep (and coffee), I had to drive 2hrs each way because Ashville has like 2 planes that land and take off each day from its airport. I arrived late, meetings were cancelled and rearranged, and I l got home at 11pm with the sense of "wow, I should've just had a telecon". I wont belabor this point, but just have to gloat and say..."TAKE THAT MEXICAN!" for a hellish 1 day trip to NC.

The Great Outdoors

Seventy three degrees, mostly sunny, and a slight breeze. Could you ask for a better day in mid-February than that? Not me. Funny thing is I've talked to a total of 4 (unrelated) people today since waking up, three of them live in the DC area. All of them, including me, decided to go hiking yesterday. What is this, Oregon? Granted, my roomie is a West Coast lesbian, so its assumed he's hiking the trails with a bag of granola any chance he can get. But everyone else? Maybe it was just a local case of the Hippie-Flu that made hikers out of all of us. Good thing...cause if eveyone went hiking yesterday, I'd have nothing selacious to blog about.

Outdoor sex.

Yup. I'm not sure if we decided to take a hike to 1. enjoy the outdoors, 2. do something different, or 3. have sex outdoors. Probably a 33.3% split. And wouldnt ya know, as soon as we start hiking around the national park near The Musician's house, I see him eyeing various logs and fallen trees for acceptable locations. Now I wont belabor the point, but it was interesting, although prematurely interrupted by rain. Nonetheless, it was very reminiscent of my 'straight days', when I would have sex with the man-woman Nicole outside all the time...beach, forest, lakes, lifeguard stands, tree stands, etc. I think its been 10 years since good outdoor sex. Sad. But hopefully "times, they are a' changin."